I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
