i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
