Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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