i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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