Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
