I can feel you judging me through the phone.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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