I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Enjoy the penises
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
