they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
