we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I love having hate sex.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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