you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
