so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
