how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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