do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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