found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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