Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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