Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
