that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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