Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
