If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
