so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
