There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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