I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
