his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
