This girl is more easily done than said...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
