i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
