My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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