I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
