She is in my trunk
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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