what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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