Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
