Yo dont text me then not text me
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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