Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
