my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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