and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
