I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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