What did we do last night that was yellow?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
