and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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