please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
