thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
