That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize