He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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