My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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