I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
