My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
