I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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