I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
