omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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