i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
