im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
