his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
