yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
