my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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