i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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