i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
