just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
