i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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