I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
