Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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