Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
