idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
